What redheads Want
by Tropicwhale
Summary: Slash humor, sort of. The last in the series. Harry chooses which Weasely boy he wants to be with and it really isn't much of a choice! See why...


What Redheads want.

Summery: Harry must decides which of the weasley boys he wants to be with. Humor. Slash

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the voices in my head.

What Redheads want

(and goddess help anyone who crosses them)

Harry woke suddenly, aware that someone was sitting on his chest, someone sitting on his feet, both sides and his head was in someone's lap, and although he didn't have his glasses he could see they all had red hair. Weasleys. Merlin help him. "Uh can I have my glasses?" He asked weakly.

"Give him his glasses, Fred." Ron said. Someone, Fred, put his glasses on his nose. Harry could finally see that most of the Weasley boys were gaurding him, sort of. The twins were at his sides, his head was in Charlie's lap, Ron sat on his chest, and Percy and Bill were at his feet.

"Where's Ginny?" he asked, wrong question.

"Why you banging her too?" Ron and glared.

"No?" Harry tried to sit up, the twins and Ron held him down. "What's going on?"

"Did you really bugger all of us?" Bill asked, his back to the morning sun, making his hair a ruddy halo.

"Ummm." He was in trouble.

"Did you, Harry?" Charlie asked, smiling down at him like an angel. Fred and George looked serious, but like if his answer was right, they would laugh. Percy looked like he was about to cry. Ron looked furious. In short, like they all had the morning after.

"Merlin, Pheonix, and Fleur, you all look beautiful." he said, cause they did. Whatever they were expecting, that was not it. They all looked dumbstruck and if you ever saw six beautiful redheaded boys look that way, you'd laugh too, just like Harry did. He didn't mean too, honestly. It just poured out of his mouth like honey and wine; rich, intoxicating, and totally the wrong thing to do. Percy started crying loudly and screaming about how their night together meant nothing to Harry and the world to him. Fred and George cocked their heads in the same direction, like they both were thinking the same thing (hopefully a threesome twins-harry sandwich)or murder, Harry could never tell. Charlie frowned like he wanted to say "Are you okay? Should I get the nice men in white from St. Mungo's down here?". Harry could see Bill's reaction to his laugh because Ron suddenly was in his face.

"What the fuck are you laughing about? Was I so fucking horrible in bed? This is fucking serious Harry (AN:no it's Ron not Sirius he was in the Brunettes installment of the trilogy) Why the fuck are you laughing for?" But his face was that pretty shade of red he gets when he's embarrassed. His face was so close that Harry could lean up and kiss his lips, so that is what he did. The room froze. When Harry finally laid back down; not for lack of air but because, hey , kissing anyone from that angle will give anyone a crink in their neck; the room was still.

"Sorry, you're just soo cute!" Harry grinned. "You all are! So you finally talked to each other?"

"Yeah" Fred said. Harry looked at him, really looked at him, Fred had one more freckle on his nose than George and had a slightly deeper voice, also he was a major top, where George was open to negoiations. Which Harry always enjoyed as much as the sex. And the sex with either of the twins was great, really great, I mean fucking awesome backdoor sex, yummy! And at the moment sounded like a great idea, too bad Ron was sitting on his chest. It was kind of hard to have gay sex with twins when their younger brother was sitting on your chest, really!

"I want sexcapades, anyone up for some? And I do mean that literally!" Harry grinned at Charlie, cause he could tell he was up for something, hopefully Harry himself. At lest the brunette hoped it was Charlie's dick poking the back of Harry's head and not the redhead's wand, cause that would not be any fun...well maybe it could be, but what happened if the wand misfired when it was up there or something? Ouchies! Harry hoped it was Charlie's dick.

"Is that all you can think off?" Ron asked.

"Well, it's either sex with six goregous redheads or killing off some guy with a repitlian nymphomania. The redheaded sex please. Duh Ron. Did I kiss your brain out?"

"Your not that good of a kisser." Ron snorted.

"You think I'm go-goregous?" Percy asked.

"Yeah!" Harry smiled at the Ministry dog "and a nice. Tight. Arse too."

"I have a tight arse?" Percy asked.

"Yes, I enjoyed it immensely. As I enjoyed having sex with all of you!"

"I know you did, i couldn't sit down for a week!" Bill laughed.

"Neither could I." Ron grumbled. "But, you don't hear me bragging about it!"

"Sorry Ron," Harry said. "I'll let you top next time."

"Ne-ne-next time?"

"yes, why not?"

"Your sleeping with **all **my brothers!"

"So?"

"So-sosoosososososososososoososo-" Ron studdered.

"Oh shut-up Ron!" George said. "At lest he's honest about it."

"butbutbut-"

"You can share me, you know" harry said "I never agreed to monogyny with anyone. Let see there is six of you, so one for every night of the week and sunday off. And you can trade off and stuff. And the holidays can be like team ups and stuff."

"I call Monday." Bill said.

"Tuesday." Charlie called

"I call Saturday!" Percy called "What? I can't do it on a week day, I have work!"

"We call Wednesday and Thursday." Fred said

"So I get friday" Ron pouted. "Harry's going to be all worn out by the time he gets to me."

"Yeah, so you'll top a lot." Fred said.

"Really?" Ron's face perked up.

"yeah you can have him when I'm out in Romania with the dragons, too." Charlie said.

"Or when I'm in Eygpt or in France." Bill said. "Stuff changes little brother."

"Well he's still mine on Saturdays" Percy cuddled Harry's foot. The other boys looked at him.

"YOU CAN HAVE HIM!"

"Really?" Percy looked like a child on Christmas day.

"NO"

"Oh" He looked like someone had told him his puppy was run over by the Knight Bus.

"You can have me on Saturdays, remember?" Harry said. Percy nodded and needled his way to Harry's side offsetting Ron and George from their postition, and cuddled next to him. Ron frowned and scooted back to his spot straddling Harry's chest. "Hey, why is the Ministery dog the only one hugging me?"

"Your head's in my lap, Harry." Charlie reminded him. Bill started to massage his feet.

"I'm straddlin' you." Ron said indiginately.

"yeah, but not doin' anything about it!" Harry retorted.

"Your head is in my brother's lap!"

"So?"

"If I did anything, my face would be near his crotch, hello incest!" Ron mocked-gagged.

"But it's gay incest, they cancel each other out!" Harry said. Ron blushed and mumbled something about that not being the point, Percy buried his face into the Seeker's shoulder, the twins exchanged a look, clearly "ooooooh fun!", Bill and Charlie continued looking like benevolent sex gods. "kay. If no one is go to ravish me, let me up, now. Bathroom break."

"NO"

"O-kaaaay. Then someone fuck me now!" Harry whined and writhed a bit. Ron rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Impatient much, mate?"

"Uh yeah!" Harry grinned. Fred and George lifted his hands to their lips and started suckling his fingers like icicle-pops, erotic icicle-pops. Percy, in a mega-rare show of dominance, ripped Harry's shirt open and started to lick his nibbles and collorbone. "Ahh, cheating!"

"All's fair in S&M, Harry!" Bill said pulling off the younger one's pants, licking the back of his knees.

"I thought-AH-the saying-MMM-the sayingOH PERCY-" He bucked against Ron"wasn't _that_" Ron moved off of Harry's stomach and started to mark the brunette's navel and waist. "you lot have a-AH-an oraaaaal fi-AAhAhaha" he giggled "fixation. You have an oral fixation-MMMmmm"

"Yup, Mother didn't breast feed us." Charlie said, MUCH to the dismay of his brothers and Harry.

"Welp, my semi went buh-bye!" George said, looking down his pants.

"Mine too. Why you have to bring up mum?" Bill said.

"Sorry."

"That is something I would do, Charlie." Percy said. "Eek"

"Well I'm still hard!" Harry said.

"Too Bad!" The brothers said

"Come on!"

"Nope, consider it revenge." Ron said

"For what!"

"For playing us at the same time, go back to whence you came!" Fred said.

"Okay stop stop. Severus?" Harry said

"Yes?"

"All the Weasley boys?"

"Yes I decided you would be rather ambitious." Harry smiled up at his lover.

"You know I'm glad you started this storytelling. You saying 'ravish' and 'fuck' is better then foreplay with, apparently, all the Weasley boys." Severus laughed and nuzzled into the Gryffindor's neck. "You're really good at it."

"Thank you." Severus licked his Lion's neck. Harry pushed him up. Severus' face was red.

"Your blushing."

"No"

"Are too."

"Are not"

"Are too." Harry started to unbutton Snape's robes.

"Are n-, wait what are you doing?"

"Unbuttoning your shirt."

"Why?"

"I want to see how far the blush goes." Harry moved to straddle the Potions Master, still intent on unbuttoning his robes and shirt. Snape snatched his robes close.

"I'm British! Pretty damn far."

"really? How far?"

"Far, use your imagination." Sev started to scoot away from Harry.

"Raised by muggles, don't have one. How far?"

"Less talking now, and more sex!"

"Trying to distract me Severus?"

"Yes is it working?"

"Yes."

"Good"

THE END

MY TRILOGY IS COMPLETE!

Now for shameless plugging and thanks

Maybe I'll write a pre-story to this call "What Men Want" but I have to finish "Flames" (Yugioh/Artemis Fowl crossover) and tag a couple of chapters onto "Hogwarts Again"

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and special thanks to everyone who read all three. This series received more reviews than my two other stories combined, and I didn't even know most of you. Yes the last two were not as funny as blondes but hey you try getting reds and brunettes to do stupid stuff! It's harder then it looked. Thanks to the Weasley boys, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, the Malfoy boys, and of course Harry and Sev, I could not have written this without their coorporation

SEVERUS: What are you talking about? You held us at wandpoint and threatened to castrate us if we didn't!

TROPIC: Too bad, Like I care?

SEVERUS: No

Tropic?

SEVERUS: Never mind, Just to reiterate to the dunderheads that wish to flame Tropicwhale's stories, they are mostly slash, she owns nothing, and if you flame her you will become the next one I kill. Capice? Good. Have a horrible day, It will make me feel better.

THE END


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